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What comes to your mind when you read the word ” Stress”? Surely it will remind you of someone who is suffering from Mental-Stress.

When I ask you “ How did he/ she gets ‘ stress’ ?” Certainly you will come out with a set of problems which made him/ her to become a victim of mental – stress.

When we talk about problems, most of you will compliant that, if you solve one problem, you get another. And the problems will keeps increasing. In some cases it gets bigger, in some cases it gets diminished but it exists in one form or other. So we all will say ” I’m stressed “.

We will consider an imaginary case and analyse whether the problems causes mental- stress.

Case: Just consider a situation during lockdown period, a men who is working in I.T. and has a family with a kid. It’s the month starting and he managed to pay all his Bill’s. Now
Day 1
Problem 1. His mother will come to him and tells that “my BP tablet gets over and it’s not available in the nearby shops”.
(This is the time when our BP shoots up)
But he is cool
Solution 1:Now he finds a solution by ordering it online and managed to get it for her.

Problem 2: His wife will come and tell him that ‘water purifier malfunctions and has no water to drink’.
He is bit tensed but manages
Solution 2:He calls to the service centre and solve the problem. In the meantime he arranged for water cans which arrives in time.

Problem 3: When he needs to upload an important office file, his laptop hangs.
He held his nerve and finds a solution.
Solution 3: He used his learned skills to fix the problem and finishes his work.

Problem 4:His father will come and complain about his broken frame of his specs( spectacles).
He controls his anger
Solution 4: He repairs his frame by using some quick fix adhesive.

After finishing his dinner, he gone to his bed,
Problem 5: at once a major power breakdown in his area and his apartment generator becomes non-functional.

Now he lost his temper , so he called to the apartment care taker and shouted at him.

Solution 5?: He needs to spend the whole night without fan or AC.

Day 2
He had not slept well and got lots of works to do
Problem 6: His wifi got some network issues so he was not able to download or upload important files which needs to be done within a couple of minutes.
Certainly he is exhausted, so his brain fails to think, and he has lots of pressure in his head. So he shattered. And this is the sign of stress.
If we put ourselves in this situation we all will react in the same manner.

Are we getting mental- stress because of problems? No. We are getting stressed just because we carry the problems with ourselves and hesitate to accept the reality of life.

Now we will see where he had gone wrong and correct it.

Solution to problem 5: As he had taken all the problems he faced from the morning into his head, made him to feel more pressured. If he forgets the problems once he solved, then he would have felt free.
I know it’s not easy to spend a night without power, but if he had taken that easy by saying to himself that “it’s ok I will adjust with hand fan or by waving a news paper.”
So what happens now? he accepted the reality that he is going to spend his night without power and also finds a substitute for fan/ AC.
we need to understand that the power cut isn’t the reason for his sleep loss. Its was the problems which he carried in his head had not let him to sleep.

Now he slept well, next day morning
Solution to Problem 6: If his wifi doesn’t work, he could have search for other alternatives, it could be his mobile data which would come in handy or neighbour’s wifi or some nearby friend’s wifi.
That’s it, he gets ready for the upcoming challenges.
Is he free from stress now? Yes he is

Is their anyone in the world with out problems?
All of us got problems those who faced it squarely are the winners. Those who fail to face it becomes losers. [ Does winning means victory, we will discuss about it later]
I want to share this saying for those who are suffering from problems:
“PAIN IS INEVITABLE
SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL”
— Buddha

Now we will see how does a child gets stress.

A child gets stress because of the pedagogues/ parents who keeps on increasing the challenge levels of their children/ child.

Now consider a kid who has got the capacity to score 60%. If he/ she works hard, could get 80%, but if you force that kid to score 90%. Obviously he / she gets mental- stress and the target couldn’t be achieved.
This is not just for average or below average kids, but also for the kids who are good in one subject, but when they are forced to score more in other subjects also gets mental-stress.
Those kids who are capable of handling targets will be stress free, and these kids are very few in numbers.
This holds good for adults also.

I would like to emphasize that ‘Stress’ is not caused just because of problems. In most cases when we try to do something which we are not interested or when we do things beyond our capabilities and not accepting the reality of life will results in mental-stress.

So how can we protect our selves from getting mental-stress.

1. We should know our strength and weakness and act accordingly.
2. Don’t choose something just to please someone. For example: if you get an high income job, but you know your limitations in doing that job. Then don’t chose it for the sake of family circumstances or for keeping your family happy.
3. Keep your desires low and try to accept the reality of life. Example : when you accept a high income job, which you neither like nor you are capable of handling the challenges in it, but just to fulfil your desires like to buy a big house or expensive car or an iphone etc..( for social status) you will get stressed. Instead if you are happy with the things you get from low paid job, you won’t have mental- stress.
4. Do your work in your own phase, and never strain yourself to meet the deadlines.

Stress is not something which god has created. It’s just we created it by our own thoughts. When our desires couldn’t be achieved or couldn’t accept the reality of life, we feel stressed.

A man who understood the reality of life will not have mental-stress and always be happy.🙂